Heart Attack Grill

  • 11:00:38 am on June 6, 2009 | 0

    As James Madison crafted the immortal passage:Madison


    “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble….” 

    Could the founding fathers have ever considered the possibility that hundreds of years in the future, in a yet to be discovered land by the name of Arizona, a maverick Doctor would use these very words in defense of his right to create the ultimate den of iniquity? A ruckus little Grill where the doc and his drinking buddies could pass their time barbecuing and ogling young girls (less than half their age!).
    Yes, the Heart Attack Grill did receive a letter from the office of the Attorney General demanding that it stop referring its sexy young ladies as “Nurses”. Yes, the Heart Attack Grill does send out a reckless message that blatantly and insensitively pokes fun at many serious issues such as coronary disease and obesity. Yes, reporters from from over 40 different countries have written stories that question whether the Heart Attack Grill has taken “freedom of expression” just a little too far.
    Over the last two centuries many such controversies have erupted over the question of what the First Amendment should and should not protect. HolmesIt was Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes who formulated the ”clear and present danger” test by which our government does justly set limits to the freedoms of speech and expression. It goes like this; words and acts of expression which are used in such circumstances and are of such a nature as to create a clear and present danger of immediately bringing about substantive evils, then these words and these acts of expression may be prohibited by law. It is a question of proximity and degree, just like falsely yelling “fire” in a crowded theater and thus risking the safety of those who might be trampled. 
    I myself, as well, I imagine, as most others, couldn’t agree more with the Supreme Court’s use of the ‘clear and present danger’ test as a valid tool with which to limit the rights granted by the First Amendment. 
    This brings us to the question of whether the Heart Attack Grill is actually “endangering” any particular citizen or group of citizens in our society. Perhaps we need to step out of our own shoes and and gain a historical prospective on our great American society. Let’s turn the clock back to the 1880’s to a time that most modern people would consider to be quite rugged and primitive. (No, no Starbucks Latte to be had anywhere) Theodore Roosevelt was in the forefront of thinking for his time. He was convinced that modern life, in the 1880’s, had created a soft, effeminate man so much so that the American culture was in eminent danger of collapse. Now let’s stop and make something clear, by no means was Teddy a sexist. He was an absolute advocate for women’s rights. RooseveltIn fact his undergraduate thesis at Harvard was on the topic of women’s suffrage, yet Teddy crusaded against what he felt to be too radical of a decline in the masculine courage that had forged our nation.
    I wonder what would happen if Teddy were brought back to life now in the year 2007. Would he be out with the Politically Correct crowd at the Sushi Bar spouting “pro gay marriage” rhetoric? Yes I do believe that the Heart Attack Grill does pose a “clear and present danger” in that it immediately threatens to turn back the clock to a time when men could openly enjoy Red Meat, Cold Beer, and Young Women. Yes, by the standard of measurement set forth by Justice Holmes, the Heart Attack Grill should NOT be entitled to First Amendment protection because it does endanger the vast majority of America… the politically correct, disgustingly effeminate, modern metro sexual male. 


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